Label instructions on consumer goods
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
- On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
- On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
- On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?)
- On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion.)
- On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well.duh, a bit late, huh!)
- On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (and you thought?)
- On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
- On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
- On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and. I'm taking this because?)
- On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to. what?)
- On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
- On Salisbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash.)
- On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh. fly Delta?)
- On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
- On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your! hands or genitals." (Oh my God. was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
- On a blanket from Taiwan: "Not to be used as protection from a tornado."
- On a steering wheel lock: "Warning -remove lock before driving."
- On a flower pot: "Houseplants are for ornamental use and should not be consumed."
- On a bottle of milk: "After opening, keep upright."
A related site to visit: Dumb Warnings
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