Classics of british microphone
- Jon Snow: "In a sense, Deng Xiaoping's death was invitable, wasn't it?"
Expert: "Er... yes."
(Channel 4 News)
- "As Phil De Glanville said, each game is unique, and this one is no different to any other."
(John Sleightholme - BBC1)
- "If England are going to win this match, they're going to have to score a goal."
(Jimmy Hill - BBC)
- "Beethoven, Kurtag, Charles Ives, Debussy - four very different names."
(Presenter, BBC Proms, Radio 3)
- "Cystitis is a living death, it really is. Nobody ever talks about it, but if I was faced with a choice between having my arms removed and getting cyctitis, I'd wave goodbye to my arms quite happily."
(Louise Wener (of Sleeper) in Q Magazine)
- Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
(Metro Radio Sports Commentary)
- Listener: "My most embarrassing moment was when my artificial leg fell off at the altar on my wedding day."
Simon Fanshawe: "How awful! Do you still have an artificial leg?"
- Interviewer: "So did you see which train crashed into which train first?"
15-year-old: "No, they both ran into each other at the same time."
(BBC Radio 4)
- Presenter (to palaeontologist): "So what would happen if you mated the woolly mammoth with, say, an elephant?"
Expert: "Well, in the same way that a horse and a donkey produce a mule, we'd get a sort of half-mammoth."
Presenter: "So it'd be like some sort of hairy gorilla?"
Expert: "Er... well yes, but elephant shaped, an with tusks."
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