| Dormitory | Dirty room |
| Evangelist | Evil's agent |
| Desperation | A rope ends it |
| The Morse code | Here come dots |
| Slot machines | Cash lost in 'em |
| Animosity | Is no amity |
| Mother-in-law | Woman Hitler |
| Snooze alarms | Alas! No more z's |
| Alec Guinness | Genuine class |
| Semolina | Is no meal |
| The public art galleries | Large picture halls, I bet |
| A decimal point | I'm a dot in place |
| The earthquakes | That queer shake |
| Eleven plus two | Twelve plus one |
| Contradiction | Accord not in it |
| Princess Diana | Ascend in Paris |
| "To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune." | "In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten." |
| "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." --Neil Armstrong | Thin man ran; makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on moon! On to mars! |
| George Bush | He bugs Gore |
| Presbyterian | Best in prayer |
| President Clinton of the USA | To copulate he finds interns |
